(NEW YORK) — Even Kate Moss has insecurities. In a new interview in Vanity Fair‘s December issue, the 38-year-old supermodel opened up about how Johnny Depp damaged her and how modeling made her a mess.
Moss and Depp began a high profile, four-year relationship during the 1990s. Moss said it was one of the first times she felt taken care of.
“There’s nobody that’s ever really been able to take care of me. Johnny did for a bit. I believed what he said,” Moss said. “Like if I said, ‘What do I do?,’ he’d tell me.”
When he left, it was a disaster.
“And that’s what I missed when I left,” she said. “I really lost that gauge of somebody I could trust. Nightmare. Years and years of crying. Oh, the tears!”
Moss said she had some regrets about posing topless with “Marky” Mark Wahlberg for the 1992 Calvin Klein photo shoot that made her famous. Around age 17, Moss had a nervous breakdown.
“It didn’t feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy,” she said. “I didn’t like it. I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die.”
She shot to fame in the 1990s as the face of “heroin chic,” a look characterized by rail-thin, pale models with angular bones and dark eyes. But Moss said she never took part in the drug. Moss was photographed snorting cocaine in 2005 and was questioned by British police. She ultimately avoided charges.
“I had never even taken heroin. It was nothing to do with me at all,” Moss said. “I was thin, but that’s because I was doing shows, working really hard. At that time, I was staying at a B and B in Milan, and you’d get home from work and there was no food. You’d get to work in the morning, there was no food. Nobody took you out for lunch when I started.”
Moss said she was never anorexic and that if she were, she wouldn’t have been able to work. She also recalled how uncomfortable she felt when posing nude, saying she would lock herself in the bathroom and cry before stripping down.
After all that, maybe it’s no surprise that when she’s not working, Moss hates being photographed.
“I don’t want to be myself, ever. I’m terrible at a snapshot. Terrible,” she said. “I blink all the time. I’ve got facial Tourette’s. Unless I’m working and in that zone, I’m not very good at pictures, really.”
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