(NEW YORK) — Reality TV star and singer Tamar Braxton has always been outspoken about her struggles during pregnancy, and she’s being just as candid after giving birth to her son, Logan.
In an exclusive interview with ABC’s Good Morning America, Braxton, who stars in the WE tv reality show Braxton Family Values, talked about her post-baby issues.
She revealed that she didn’t immediately fall in love with Logan, who is now 2 months old.
“I loved him, you know,” she said. “But I wasn’t like ‘oh, gosh, yes my baby, ooh,’ you know. It wasn’t that. It was more like what do I do now, you know?”
Asked whether she ever felt completely unattached to the baby, the “Love and War” singer said: “I guess in a sense I did feel unattached because you know, I really, really wanted to connect with him because I wanted to breast-feed. And when he didn’t latch on and when I couldn’t produce milk I just felt like, ‘Is this the wrong child?’ You know what I mean? ‘Am I the wrong mother?’”
Braxton, 36, didn’t feel depressed, but she said she felt disappointed.
She explained her emotions when she was first handed her son after his birth.
“You’re in shock,” she said. “And you know, it took me a few days to really, like, come to terms with the fact that I am a mom and this is my baby.”
Uncomfortable in her new role as a mother, Braxton said she didn’t change her son’s diaper for the first week and a half after his birth. Her hands-on husband, Vince Herbert, took on the diaper duty.
“Well you know, I was questioning my motherhood….Like, is this a mistake that God made? Or like, is this something that I need to hand over to my husband because he and the baby connected instantly. And I wanted that. And I guess I was a little jealous, pretty much. Am I being really honest here? I guess I am,” she said.
Mental health experts like psychologist Stacy Kaiser say Braxton’s experience is common.
“The research says that 20 to 30 percent of moms feel this way. And I actually think it’s higher. It’s just that most moms are too embarrassed to admit it,” Kaiser told GMA.
Braxton said that once her son started to breast-feed, she finally felt a connection to him.
“When he finally latched on I felt like he got me and I got him and this was all meant to be,” she said.
Braxton is now busier than ever. She’s working on her upcoming album, starring in a new WE tv reality show, Tamar & Vince, and hosting a new talk show, but she says being a mother is her number one priority.
“I am very happy. I feel complete…he is the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said, speaking of her son.
Copyright 2013 ABC News Radio
Jennifer Graham, Deseret News