Movie Review: “RoboCop” — I Wouldn’t Buy That for a Dollar!
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iStock/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) — When news surfaced that the critically-acclaimed 1987 sci-fi action thriller RoboCop was being remade, there were immediate cries of “Hollywood has run out of new ideas!” and “Why mess with (near) perfection?” But at the same time, some thought that the central themes of the original — moral questions concerning the merger of man and machine, what it means to be human, big corporations preying on the fears of the impoverished, etc. — might be fertile ground to plow some 27 years later. “Plus,” those same people enthusiastically exclaimed, “advancements in movie technology and visual effects might eclipse some of the cheesier elements of the original!”
Unfortunately, the naysayers were right about this one. The 2014 RoboCop is a bland, predictable, neutered remake that will unfortunately serve only to taint the legacy of its far superior predecessor.
Problem number one: The new version is rated PG-13. Part of the charm of the R-rated original was that it reveled in violence and gore. One guy’s skin melts off after an acid bath, but that’s not how he dies — oh no. Then he gets split in half by a car, and we see it all. While some of it is just gratuitous fun, other over-the-top scenes serve a very important purpose. The death of Detroit police officer Alex Murphy, played in the original by Peter Weller, is one of the most brutal killings ever put on film. And it needs to be: it becomes part of the central struggle raging inside RoboCop as he recovers his humanity. It’s also a scene seared into the memory of any fan seeing the new version, and they’ll be sorely disappointed with the toned-down intensity that comes with a toned-down rating.
Problem number two: The new RoboCop isn’t funny. The original, with its sight gags and parody commercials for fake board games, had lots of laugh-out-loud moments. They were necessary to balance the brutality, but they also served up delicious satire and social commentary. No more ozone layer in the future? Smear blue goo all over yourself! Problem with car thieves? Get a security system that electrocutes them! The new version’s answer to that satire comes in the form of Samuel L. Jackson as a barking conservative talk show host. He’s fun to watch but it’s almost too slick, and the gag often feels out of place because it’s not consistent with the tone of the rest of the movie. And in a nod to the original, lines including the now iconic “I’d buy that for a dollar!” are thrown in here and there, but it feels like a cheap ploy for cheers rather than a winking homage.
Problem number three: RoboCop 2014 relies too much on visual effects. The original appeared to have been made for whatever cash the producers could find under their couch cushions. While $13 million in 1987 was nothing to sneeze at, it wasn’t exactly a massive production. The reported budget of the new version is $100 million, and apparently all that money was spent on visual effects. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty cool when Alex Murphy — played here by The Killing’s Joel Kinnaman — is stripped of his robot parts and is revealed to be nothing but a head, a spine, and a pair of lungs in glass jars. Also, the new versions of the large patrolling robots called ED-209s are far more realistic than the silly, stop-motion versions used in 1987. But I’ll take a great script over great visual effects any day.
Problems 4 through infinity: Alex Murphy’s family in the new version is a throw-away storyline, Michael Keaton never really comes close to evil genius status as OmniCorp overlord Raymond Sellars, Michael K. Williams (Omar from The Wire) is criminally underutilized as Alex Murphy’s partner… and the list goes on.
It’s not that RoboCop 2014 is a horrible movie. It may even be a passably interesting action flick for anyone who hasn’t seen the original. But if you have seen the original, this version fails to measure up on almost every level. Die-hard fans will be disappointed, and those who have never seen the 1987 classic will be better served by staying home and renting it. The new RoboCop is all shiny packaging, but there’s nothing in the box.
Two out of five stars.
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