“Coopers” Just Like Your Family At Christmas, Only More Boring

In a little over a month, families will gather in homes across the country to celebrate Christmas. The new movie “Love the Coopers” offers movie audiences the opportunity to have that same experience a couple weeks early. Truth be told, you’d be better off saving your money and waiting for the real thing. You’ll be more entertained.

”Love the Coopers” is boring. There’s no other word for it. Here are a few things that are less boring than this movie:

• Reading the phone book
• Spending the night in a hotel with no TV or Wi-Fi
• The drive between Pocatello and Salt Lake (Seriously. That is a boring drive.)
• The Golf Channel

Here’s the story: The Cooper clan, headed up by Sam (John Goodman) and Charlotte (Diane Keaton), is coming home for Christmas. Family members are a mix of “quirky” characters whose personalities clash. This sets the scene for drama, humor and tension, none of which materialize.

The question to answer is why “Coopers” is so tedious. It’s full of great actors, from Goodman and Keaton, to Alan Arkin, Marisa Tomei and Ed Helms. With all that talent assembled, there’s plenty of potential for laughs and emotional moments. And yet, the film gets only a couple of laughs and all the emotional stuff feels phony.

The situation holds plenty of possibilities, too. There have been quite a few pretty great movies about loved ones reuniting for Christmas (“Christmas Vacation”, anyone?). But those movies have interesting characters and amusing situations that go over the top — ones audiences can relate to.

If I had to blame one thing for the drudgery that is “Love the Coopers”, it would have to be the writing. Writer Steven Rogers (no, not Captain America) wrote a bunch uninteresting characters whose quirks aren’t nearly quirky enough to help your attention. They bicker and yell at one another, but their conflicts fail to raise your pulse.

Another problem is the story is a mess, especially at the beginning. One scene follows the next without any logical connection. It’s as if the writer jotted his scenes down on index cards, tossed up in the air, and wrote them in the order in which they landed. I wonder if a lot was chopped from the first half of the movie, because it’s sure a chaotic jumble.

If you’re looking for a holiday movie to watch with your family, there are dozens of better options than “Love the Coopers”. The laughs are too infrequent, the characters are too dull and though it’s set during the Holidays, it’s missing any Christmas magic. Do yourself a favor and film your own family’s Christmas celebration this year. It will be much more fun.

2 Indy Fedoras out of 5

MPAA Rating: PG-13