STOCKING: Giving what I can so my kids feel loved on Valentine's Day - East Idaho News
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STOCKING: Giving what I can so my kids feel loved on Valentine’s Day

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A plate of heart-shaped Valentine's Day cookies for giving to family and friends

Giving this single Clementine on Valentine's Day is not quite as awesome as cookies

I signed up to take treats to my son’s 4th grade Valentine’s Day class party. Visions of pink-frosted sugar cookies danced in my head. I was so excited to whip out all of my heart-shaped cookie cutters and enlist the help of my kids at cutting and frosting. Then the room mom called and asked me to bring clementines. They would be giving each other quite a bit of candy in class, she reasoned, so she wanted to offer healthier options at the party. She was right, of course, but I was missing out on buttery-soft, sweet-frosted sugar cookies. (Clearly the cookies were for me, not the 4th graders.)

In my disappointed state, I found myself wandering the red and pink aisles at Wal-Mart, surrounded by stuffed animals, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and fake roses. I needed to pick up a box of pre-printed valentines for my son to deliver to his classmates. I stared at the boxes and thought of all the home-made valentines I’d seen on Pinterest and my Instagram feed. Why couldn’t I be like those moms? Because I’m a loser-mom who works full-time, that’s why. Okay, I’m not a loser-mom (most days), but I do work full-time, and a successful day in my world means homework was finished, piano practiced, dinner fixed, and dishes done.

So I picked up a box of pre-printed valentines.

A sampling of pre-printed Valentine's Day cards

Still, as I stood in Wal-Mart marveling at how much more stuff fits in a Super Walmart than a not-Super Walmart, I wondered about how I choose to define Valentine’s Day. Was it all about the sugar cookies and pre-printed Valentines? For me, Valentine’s Day is about what I can give. I headed to the food aisles, searching for snacks to put in a package to send to my college-age son:

  • Pop-Tarts (the real Pop-Tarts, not the store brand)
  • Beef jerky
  • Protein bars

What kind of a tradition was I starting? My first one off to college and I’m already sending Valentine’s Day packages? I may be setting the bar way too high for myself. What will my other kids expect me to be giving when they leave home?

A package with Pop Tarts and Valentine's candy for my college son

When I went off to school, I was my parents’ fifth child in college. There wasn’t a whole lot of money for Valentine’s packages. However, every time I went home, my mom sent me back to school with a box full of food, often canned or baked in her kitchen. I know my brothers and sisters received the same treatment. We knew we were loved. My son can’t come home except for long breaks. He has a job which allows him to purchase necessities, but he needs to know he’s loved and missed. I bought a bag of valentine-themed mini candy bars to dump in the box because I know he would never buy that for himself.

Maybe my other kids will stay closer to home for college and I can send them back to school with boxes of baked goods. However, if they don’t, I’m prepared to stuff a small box with goodies and mail it off, hopefully in enough time to get to them before Valentine’s Day (see loser-mom comment above). Maybe I am setting the bar too high for myself, but if I don’t have something to reach for, I won’t reach. My kids love sugar cookies so the three still at home will get those pink-frosted cookies, and I’m giving my far-away son a package full of snacks he can throw in his backpack and take to class. And maybe these traditions of giving will be part of my kids’ lives for years to come.

After all, my mom still sends me home with a box of food.

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