Potter: Surviving girls’ hair

I recently became a stay-at-home dad, and when my girls learned that meant I would be doing hair, their reaction was skeptical. My almost-12-year-old offered to take care of it, but she often has no time after getting herself ready. So in the last three weeks, I have found myself on numerous occasions facing a mess of hair on my 3-year-old and/or 6-year-old.

Somehow, I needed that unruly hair to be … ruly.

I was already very prepared with the materials. For a year now, I’ve been carrying a bag called my “I have three girls” bag. The bag was a result of far too many mornings and outings involving panicky-verging-on-violent shouts of …

“I CAN’T FIND A BRUSH/ELASTIC/BOBBY PIN/AHHHHHH!!”

So I was confident that adding those very supplies to my everyday bag was a great idea. However, I felt silly when I first added hair elastics (a variety of sizes and colors, even) to my bag. I was borderline self-conscious when I added headbands (a variety of colors and glittery-ness) and clips. And I was straight-up mocked when I added bobby pins and a hairbrush. (After the first three people I told, I stopped telling people.)

But my genius soon became evident as I handed that stuff out to my wife and girls almost daily. The difference now, of course, is that I’m not handing it out … I’m using it myself.

After a few days, though, I realized that among many, many options I just needed – at the very least – one thing vital to creating ruly hair (yes, I believe “ruly” is now a word I will use) is to know how to do a ponytail.

Oh, and I mean a real ponytail; like the kind that will stay tight throughout the day with minimal escaping hair strands. And although the women and girls out there are laughing, perhaps some guys can join me in my exultant shout at learning the more-complex-than-I-thought process of a solid, simple ponytail.

And here it is:

• Brush it. Turns out there’s all sorts of craziness that goes on underneath the top layer of hair, a rat’s nest that leaves a lot of unseen wiggle room for an elastic to lose its hold. I have to brush underneath and on top and in the middle until all hair is relatively smooth and sleek before the elastic goes in.
• Spray. This brushing works much better when the hair is wet and/or with lots of detangling spray.
• Tighten it. After looping the elastic as many times as possible, my wife taught me to split the ponytail in half, grab either side, and pull outward, forcing the elastic closer to the head and tightening it.

And done. Am I prouder of myself than I should be? No. I deserve quite a bit of credit here. No matter where I am, I am now equipped with the supplies and skills to turn a mess into a sleek ponytail. Do I see braids in my future?

What I know now: Learning to do a ponytail is a necessary survival skill, and a little more involved than I could have guessed.