Forsgren: Lessons Learned From A Year Of Reviewing Movies

Just over a year ago, I was sitting in my local multiplex with a group of friends, anxiously awaiting the start of “Avengers: Age of Ultron”. This was a landmark in my life, and not just because I was celebrating the release of the latest big Marvel movie. “Age of Ultron” was the first movie I reviewed as a professional critic.

Man, that was a year ago? Time flies…

Experience says that if you spend time studying a subject or participating in an activity, you’ll unavoidably learn something about that subject or activity. Indeed, I’ve learned a thing or two about movies, and Hollywood and even about myself. Allow me to share.

I’M NOT PART OF HOLLYWOOD’S TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC

If it seems like Hollywood is dumping a lot of time and resources into courting the 2-25-year-old crowd, that’s because they are. According to the MPAA, as much as 30% of moviegoers fall into that age group. That means that kids and teenagers can make or break a film’s commercial success.

Although I may act like an overgrown 13-year-old, I am, in fact, not thirteen. I like movies that are a little challenging or give me something to think about. But, the vast majority of movies, regardless of rating, are dumbed down and stripped of quirks in hopes of attracting the biggest number of teenagers possible.

Take “The Divergent Series: Allegiant”, for example. This was a witless, mind-numbingly bad movie full of bad storytelling. But it had pretty people to look at and violent action scenes to keep then from falling asleep. But there was no thought or intelligence expended in this movie. It was less a movie than a two hour long reel from a modeling agency.

This is what Hollywood thinks it’s audience wants. So many big movies are plotless, incoherent messes chock full of violence and sex. Did you see “Pixels”? Or “The Huntsman: Winter’s War”? These films are all aimed at kids and teenagers, and judging by these movies, I guess movie executives think kids are brainless zombies who just crave hot near-nude bodies and lots of computer generated fight scenes.

This seems a little ironic coming from a bunch of suits who can’t even tell a joke, much less a coherent story with depth, character development and wit. I’d like to give kids a little more credit than that, considering the teenagers I know are pretty sharp.

Then again, those lame “Transformers” movie have made billions of dollars, so maybe I’m wrong…

THE ROLE SCREENWRITERS PLAY IS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT

The foundation of any movie is the screenplay, and the foundation of any good movie is a good screenplay. Directors and actors can help lessen the effects of bad writing with killer visuals or great performances, but they can only do so much. A bad screenplay leads to a bad movie more often than not. If you don’t believe that good writing makes a difference, go watch “Pan” or the 2015 “Fantastic 4” reboot. Both those movies were crippled by terrible writing.

And yet, screenwriters get disrespected more than any other participant in the movie making process. Directors and actors are constantly bragging about how they re-write scripts on the fly. And yet, most of the time, they just mess things up. There’s a reason why that old cliché about “too many cooks in the kitchen” became a thing. Screenwriters need to be allowed to do their jobs unfettered.

THERE IS NO BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE

Some moviegoers honestly believe that there is one magic seat in the movie theater that is “perfect”. Having sat in just about every seat in my local multiplexes, I think I can safely say that “the best seat in the house” is a myth. Every seat has its pros and cons.

Take, for instance, the back row. There’s plenty of legroom, and you don’t have people kicking the back of your seat, but you also see every single moron who plays with their cell phone during the movie. Seats closer to the middle might offer a better viewing angle of the screen, but they’re also cramped and you can’t really stretch out. Seats up front offer an unobstructed view, combined with the possibility of cramping neck muscles.

Looking for the best seat in the house is like searching for the lost city of Atlantis. You can burn a lot of time searching but it doesn’t exist.

I STILL LOVE THE EXPERIENCE OF GOING TO THE MOVIES

Movie ticket prices keep going up. Fellow audience members can be super annoying. Some weeks, it’s hard to get the motivation to go out and do my job because no movies get released that look interesting to me. But in spite of all the pitfalls that come with going out to the movies, it’s still one of my favorite things to do.

I love the anticipation for what I’m going to see. I love having a shared experience with hundreds of other people while having a very personal experience at the same time. I love the big screen, the smell of popcorn and when the sound effects get so intense, they shake the entire auditorium.

I know you can get immense screen and pro-quality audio systems for your home now, but for me, nothing is as cool as sitting in a theater full of fellow movie fans. Especially a big blockbuster like “Star Wars” or a Marvel movie.

Lastly…

WHEN I GROW UP, I STILL WANT TO BE A MOVIE DIRECTOR

Movies always inspire me. The bad ones make me wonder if I can do better, and the great ones make me yearn to make a movie that’s as special as they are. Someday, I hope I get my chance. Until then, I hope I see you at the movies. (I’ve always wanted to say that!)