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15 kid rules you wish applied to parents

Faith & Family

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Last week, I found myself in a losing battle. I was going head to head with the most stubborn person I know — my 3-year-old.

It was the time of day that I look forward to the most — nap time. After listening to her tick off a long laundry list of reasons why she didn’t need a nap (in a whiny voice, while rubbing her eyes, seconds away from falling apart completely), I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. But before I even realized what I was saying, I told her I had a solution.

“Fine. Mommy will take your nap for you," I said.

Her eyes got wide. I’m quite positive she thought she hadn’t heard me correctly.

“Wait.” she said, in an incredulous tone. “You’ll take my nap for me?”

Suddenly, a nap sounded like a fine idea to her, mostly because the “it’s mine and not hers” mentality took over (typically 3-year-old). It was reverse psychology at its best — level of parenting trickery that probably won’t work for me again anytime soon. But, oh, how I wish she would have taken me up on that offer.

That nap time exchange got me thinking. As kids, most of us couldn’t wait to grow up — eat what we want, do what we want, not have to follow any of those silly adult rules. Now, as a parent, I find myself wishing some of those silly rules still applied.

The phrase “the grass is greener” takes on whole new meaning from the parenting perspective, doesn’t it? Just for fun, consider this list of rules I would wholeheartedly and willingly sign up for, if ever given the chance:

  • Let’s start with the most obvious, shall we? Daily naps. Enough said.
  • Weekly allowance for doing chores. A clean house and compensation? No arguments here.
  • Time outs equivalent to your age. Taking 30 minutes to “think about it?” Sign me up.
  • Someone to cut off your sugar intake. Goodbye, baby weight.
  • Grumpiness means early bedtime.
  • Who am I kidding? Early bedtime in general.
  • Treats for going potty. I’ll take a Reese’s, please.
  • Twenty minutes reading per day. The books on my nightstand could use a good dusting. Shh, mommy’s reading.
  • Don’t talk to strangers. Suddenly, the grocery store just got more appealing.
  • Three big bites of vegetables before you get dessert Only three, plus dessert?!
  • Back-to-school shopping for new clothes.
  • Someone to pick out your clothes for you. Pretty sure that is called a “personal shopper.” Excuse me, while I update that title on my mom resume.
  • Not being allowed to make your food. Shucks. Well, OK, if you insist.
  • Having someone check your work.
  • A note from home excuses you from school. Here you go, boss.

Lyndsi is the creator of the Facebook page For All Momkind and author to the For All Momkind blog. She has many titles including Wife, Kindergarten Teacher, Sister, and her favorite title, Mom. Follow her on Instagram @lyndsifrandsen