Mother of girl killed at Sandy Hook: ‘There is no darkness that you cannot see the light’

IDAHO FALLS — Alissa Parker’s world was shattered Dec. 14, 2012 when a mass murderer killed her daughter, Emilee, during a shooting rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

She, her husband and their two other daughters were left to make sense of Emilee’s life and death.

Alissa sought a deeply spiritual path to carry on with her life and worked to find meaning and purpose.

In a new book released last week called “An Unseen Angel: A Mother’s Story of Faith, Hope, and Healing After Sandy Hook,” Alissa takes readers though her journey, chronicling the moment-by-moment account of the day that began with every parent’s worst nightmare.

It follows her faith-filled spiritual path to coping, healing, forgiving and eventually feeling gratitude for the life and love of her daughter Emilie.

Alissa spoke with EastIdahoNews.com reporter Nate Eaton about the book. You can watch the interview in the video player above or read the transcription below.

Nate Eaton, EastIdahoNews.com: Why did you decide to write this book, “An Unseen Angel?”

Alissa Parker, Author: I wanted to preserve this story that our family had gone through for my younger daughters. They were really young at the time Emilee died and I wanted to make sure I had something for them to read when they had questions about what happened to our family.

As I began writing and seeing the whole story, I just saw such a beautiful picture and I felt it was something important to share with the world about Sandy Hook. It would give them a better picture of the tragedy and maybe they would see some light that came out of it.

Eaton: Take us back to December 2012. You get your daughter ready for school. She was in first grade. I’m sure it was just a normal day.

Parker: That day was just like any other day. I woke up in the morning to Emiliee, she woke me up, and got ready for school and took her to the bus stop. I had no idea, only a half-hour later, what would transpire at her school.

Eaton: Were you at home when the shooting happened? How did you learn what was happening?

Parker: It was the Friday before winter break so I had gone to the store to pick up a few last things. While I was there I received a phone call — an automated message from the school district saying there had been a shooting at one of the schools. It did not specify which school. It wasn’t until I called my husband, who worked at the hospital, and he turned on the news that I found out it was actually at the elementary school.

Eaton: Is that when you and your husband went over to the school?

Parker: I started to go to the school. My husband worked at the hospital and he was in lockdown so he couldn’t leave the hospital. I started to go toward the school and it was just absolute chaos as I approached the school. Every inch of this tiny little neighborhood road was congested with people and first responders. It was just a landscape I had never seen before.

Eaton: And is that when you learned that Emilee had been killed?

Parker: I arrived to the fire house and we had been taken to the back which is where everyone was congegrated. The fire house was on the corner of the driveway that goes into Sandy Hook and so that was where the parents were. I was there a little over five hours before I actually found out that Emilee had died.

Eaton: What were you thinking during that time?

Parker: At the beginning I just thought she had been taken somewhere and they hadn’t located her yet because it was very chaotic and they were taking (the kids) to different locations. Then it started to sink in that she was probably at least injured. The idea that she was gone really didn’t sink in until hours later when they told us how many were actually dead. (They) still were not telling us who was a victim but at that point I really started considering that she might be one of them.

Eaton: That was a little over four years ago. What have the past four years been like for you and your family as you’ve grieved?

Parker: I think everything comes in stages and I’ve had to really slow my pace of life down and take things just a step at a time. Not everything is perfect but I think we’ve worked really hard to find happiness again in our lives and to be a loving, happy family. Moving away was a really good thing for our family. We were able to take away some of the negativity about that day and really focus on our therapy and grief and finding that hope.

Eaton: In the book, you talk about your faith being key to getting through this. How is your faith today and the faith of your family?

Parker: It is miles from where it was in the beginning. This journey has helped me understand my faith in a completely new light and, in the beginning, it was something I never had to test before. It was something I always believed in but I never felt that wasn’t enough. This journey has taught me how to take my faith a step further and really understand it in its entirety and how it applies to my life in every moment.

Eaton: There’s going to be people watching who are going through difficult moments. Probably not as difficult as what you went through but they’re going through difficult times. What can this book do for them?

Parker: I hope that the book will be able to inspire them that there is no darkness that you cannot see the light. There is nothing that you cannot accomplish and deal with that cannot be overcome. I hope that people really walk away with feeling inspired to help yourself and choose to let that light in. Choose to let the love and goodness in your life because it’s so powerful and can be so healing.