How to nerd up your weight-loss battle - East Idaho News
COLUMN

How to nerd up your weight-loss battle

  Published at  | Updated at

In October of last year, I decided to stop screwing around and declare war on my over-abundant body mass. Weight loss has always been a herculean task for me. I imagine it is for everyone.

Adding an extra degree of difficulty, I’m a heart failure patient, which means I’m somewhat limited in how physical I can get. And did I mention that I hate to sweat? It makes me feel like my soul is draining out through my pores. Throw in my predilection for making very poor food choices when hungry (or depressed or lonely or bored) and my general lack of ambition when it comes to fitness, and you have a recipe for packing on the pounds.

However, it’s not fun being so massive that small objects orbit you. Causing ripples in pools of water like the T-Rex in “Jurassic Park” stops being cool after the first thousand times you do it. So before I have a “too fat to fly” incident, a la filmmaker Kevin Smith, I gulped hard and dove head first into a battle of the bulge.

It’s been hellish, to put it mildly. But I am making progress. In fact, as of writing this, I’ve dropped from 296 to 275 pounds And my success is owed completely to several ways I found to make smacking down the fat more nerdy, and thus more appealing to me. Allow me to share …

Nerding out weight loss scale photo

Netflix and sweat

I watch a lot of Netflix. Too much, actually. I burn a lot of time watch crime documentaries, cooking shows and various movies while trying to come up with ways to get healthier without having to waste time traveling to the gym or setting aside time slots exclusively for exercise.

Then I had a brainwave! Why do some calisthenics while Netflixing? That’ll kill two birds with one stone, getting me up and moving around whilst also tearing through my watch list. So I got some dumbbells to give my arms a workout. I also do jumping jacks, push-ups, toe touches. Hopefully, someday soon I’ll be able to add sit-ups.

And before you laugh at my puny little 10-pound dumbbells, I would remind you that I’m an out-of-shape heart failure patient who hasn’t exercised consistently in over a decade. I have to start somewhere.

Gotta collect ’em all!

Eating healthy has been a challenge. Ok, it’s been harder than trying to lift Thor’s hammer if you’re unworthy. I mean, who wants to munch on a salad when you can go get a cheeseburger?

Luckily, I’ve noticed now that many fruits and vegetables come packaged in materials emblazoned with figures from some of my favorite pop culture properties. That caused my collector mentality kicked in, and I began buying produce instead of stuff like Doritos. And once I got the bags home, it makes no sense to not eat the fruits and vegetables. So, boom! Instant diet improvement!

Books on a bike

An idea that came out of the same line of thinking that brought me to “Netflix and sweat,” I figured out that I can read and pedal the exercise bike at the same time. Reading engages the mind in more completely than listening to music or watching TV. And that really seems to speed up time. I hop on the bike, open my book, and before I know it, my timer is going off.

The only drawback? It can be tricky to hold the book still enough to read. But after you figure that out, it’s all good!

Adam reading a book while on an exercise bike.

So those are little things that have really helped me drop the weight. I have a long road ahead of me. I imagine there are plenty of new discoveries awaiting me as I continue this journey. And hopefully, my progress continues and I’ll emerge from this battle healthier and happier. Excelsior!

SUBMIT A CORRECTION