Love the One You’re With, Just Not That Much
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iStock/360/Thinkstock(HAMILTON, N.Y.) — If you think your significant other is the sun, moon and stars all rolled up into one, your high expectations could come crashing down around your head.
Colgate University psychologist Jennifer Tomlinson contends putting your partner on a pedestal might ultimately harm the relationship.
Tomlinson and her research team conducted various experiments with couples, both married and unmarried, to learn how they felt about one another through questionnaires.
The first conclusion wasn’t at all surprising: people in relationships are generally happier when their partner sees them in a slightly better light than they see themselves.
However, there also comes a point when too much idealizing becomes a dangerous thing if the object of praise starts to pull away after realizing they either can’t or won’t live up to a partner’s expectations.
Tomlinson maintains, “While it may be tempting to provide effusive praise, I think it’s also important to communicate understanding and validation of a person’s core identity.”
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