Stocking: Am I a good mom?

I have a love-hate relationship with Mother’s Day. I love that I can play the It’s-Mother’s-Day-so-I’m-not-making-breakfast card, but I hate the expectations that sometimes come with Mother’s Day. It’s all about the mom! However, when you go to church on Sunday and you have little kids, let’s be clear: It’s not about the mom.

As I pondered Mother’s Day for this column, though, I started thinking of my own kids – you know, those tiny humans who made me a mother. Did I measure up to their expectations? I decided to find out. I sent this text to my three oldest kids: What are five things a good mom must do? My oldest son (the one in college who ignores my texts most of the time) promptly responded with this meme:

Good moms should probably teach their children to be serious or to be direct. “It’s not a trap!” I told Braxton, and said I really wanted an answer for my next column. He said, “I can’t name just five things, considering all you have done, are doing, and will do for me.”

I tried a different approach and sent this text:

Was there one important thing I taught you that you didn’t realize until you left home?

He’s been gone for almost 11 months now. Surely he’s been able to recognize one important thing I taught him. He responded: “You make great food.” I sighed. But then another text from Braxton: “All joking aside, I’ve come to realize that I have your support no matter what I pursue, or do, or accomplish.” Those are words that have never been spoken, but somehow my actions managed to teach him.

With an answer from Braxton, I turned to my other kids, deciding to ask them if they knew what I believed. I gave it to them easy. Finish this sentence: My mother believes that __________________. My daughter texts back: “That I’m her weirdest offspring.” Then another text: “My mom believes that if we work together we can get the house clean in ten minutes, AKA the 10-minute tidy.” I’m learning a lot about myself here.

With an answer from Kilee, I turned to Tanner. Tanner is my comedian, the kid who is rarely serious. I expected a great response that I would laugh about for days and my readers would laugh out loud when they read it. I waited.

Then I read this: “My mom believes that we have to work through trial and tribulation in order for us to be stronger individuals.” I asked: How do you know? Tanner said: “You didn’t quit on us even though we suck at keeping the house clean. You didn’t quit looking for a job. You didn’t run away.”

Finally, I sent Braxton one last text: Finish this sentence: My mother believes that __________________. And he responds: “…she should let Braxton complete his training today.” Oops. I didn’t know he had training. The last Saturday in April and he’s in some kind of military training.

Later, I found a photo of a part of his training.

That doesn’t look like fun. However, I know Braxton will do his training and complete his tasks. I know this because Tanner told me that I didn’t quit, and my kids are watching me not quit when it gets hard. So they clean the house, tackle their trials, and complete training in the heavy spring snow.

I’m a mom. I can do hard things. I can teach my kids to do hard things. Every mom can do hard things. We do it because we love our kids. We do it without thinking. We are moms, and we are amazing. Don’t believe me? Ask your kids.