Your favorite movie doesn’t have to be the best movie you’ve ever seen

There is a question I have been asked more times than I could possibly count.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

You may think that after spending more than a decade writing about movies, I would have a sophisticated answer locked and loaded.

Maybe you’re expecting me to lean back, stare into the distance and say, “Well, it’s obviously a toss up between ‘Citizen Kane,’ ‘The 400 Blows,’ ‘On the Waterfront,’ and ‘2001: A Space Odyssey.’

All brilliant movies that are classics and have survived decades for a reason.

But my favorite? Not even close. Because to me, “What’s your favorite movie?” is a much different question from “What’s the best movie you’ve ever seen?”

I think somewhere along the way, especially among people who really love movies, we started treating “favorite” and “best” as if they mean the same thing.

They don’t.

Your favorite meal probably isn’t the best meal you’ve ever eaten

Think about food.

The best meal you’ve ever eaten might have been at some ridiculously expensive restaurant where you needed a reservation three months in advance and briefly considered taking out a second mortgage when the check arrived.

The presentation was probably stunning, and it was chock-full of ingredients you can’t pronounce. The chef came out and explained what you were eating, and you nodded along like you understood, but every bite was perfection.

That might be the best meal you’ve ever had. But would you say that’s your favorite food?

That title likely belongs to the greasy burger from the little place you’ve been going to for years. Or it might be your mom’s spaghetti and meatballs.

It might even be the Kraft macaroni and cheese your grandma used to make. She probably followed the exact instructions printed on the box, but somehow hers tasted better.

“Favorite” isn’t necessarily about quality, but about connection and comfort. It’s about familiarity and making you feel something.

Movies are the same.

You don’t have to impress anybody

Movie lovers can get a little weird about this. Admittedly, I did it for WAY too long.

Ask someone who considers himself or herself a cinephile to name their favorite movies, and sometimes it starts feeling less like a conversation and more like they’re submitting an application.

You start hearing titles that make you wonder if you’re supposed to take notes.

Look, if your favorite movie genuinely is some three-and-a-half-hour French film from 1967 that has been lovingly restored by the Criterion Collection, that’s fantastic. I mean that.

But you don’t get extra points for it. And if your actual answer is “Under Siege,” I want you to tell me. No judgment. In fact, I’m fascinated to know why. I’ll be an attentive audience for that conversation.

Maybe you watched it with your dad when you were 12. Maybe you and your buddies quoted it constantly in high school. Maybe you just really enjoy watching Steven Seagal throw bad guys through walls.

Whatever the reason, you don’t have to apologize for it. Own it.

Loving “Under Siege” doesn’t mean you don’t understand movies. Choosing “The Rock” over “The Tree of Life” on a Saturday night doesn’t make you an uncultured swine.

It means you’d rather watch “The Rock.” That’s allowed.

I probably shouldn’t admit this

I’ve been reviewing movies for years, so I suppose I’m supposed to have some credibility to protect here. But I don’t care. I’m going to be brutally honest here.

I’m not a huge Paul Thomas Anderson fan.

There. I said it.

I’m not saying Anderson is a hack. I’m not even calling him overrated. He’s clearly an enormously talented filmmaker with a distinctive eye, and I completely understand why so many critics and filmmakers admire his work.

His movies just don’t connect with me very often.

I really disliked “The Master.” I mean, dislike is being kind, really. I thought “One Battle After Another” was fine, but not what everyone wanted me to think it was. I will admit I love “Magnolia,” but even that isn’t something I’m racing home to watch again tonight.

And that’s OK. There are plenty of people out there who think I’m a poser and know nothing about film, thanks to that admission, but I don’t care.

I can recognize what Anderson is doing and appreciate the performances, cinematography, and craft of what he’s created, but appreciation and affection aren’t the same thing.

That’s the whole point. And truthfully, if Anderson reads this, which I highly doubt he will, I think he’d understand. Movies are art, and not all art is for everyone. I can think that painting is brilliantly crafted, but I don’t want it on my living room wall. I’m sure you’re a great guy, P.T., and you’re clearly so talented, but I am not putting your films on my wall. And you’re not hanging my articles on yours, and that’s OK.

So what are my favorites?

If you ask me about my favorite movies, you’re not going to get the typical answers that you’d expect from most critics. But it’s my list, and I own it.

“Back to the Future” is absolutely on there along with “Jaws.” I’ve seen both more times than I can count, and if either is playing, there’s a good chance I’ll sit down and watch. And I will go out of my way to watch them again, and again, and again after that.

“Inception” is another. I saw it at a midnight showing of the weekend it opened, and walked out stunned. I took my wife to see it the next day. A few days later, I went again with my brother-in-law.

I’ve watched it dozens of times since.

“The Usual Suspects” is up there. I know exactly what’s coming, and I still love watching that story unfold.

And then there is “Tommy Boy.” I’ve seen “Tommy Boy” more times than I’d probably like to admit publicly, and I still laugh.

Is “Tommy Boy” the greatest comedy ever made? No. Would I argue that it represents the absolute pinnacle of cinematic achievement? Probably not.

Would I happily watch Chris Farley destroy that poor little coat for the 150th time? Without hesitation.

That’s what makes it a favorite.

What do you actually want to watch again?

That should be our new definition of a favorite movie.

It isn’t necessarily the movie you think is the greatest. It’s the movie you want to see again. And again. And again.

It’s the movie you quote with your siblings. The one you can’t wait to show your kids. Maybe it’s the one that reminds you of your dad, or the movie you watched on your first date.

Sometimes it is a masterpiece. Sometimes it’s “Happy Gilmore.” And sometimes “Happy Gilmore” is a masterpiece to you because of everything that came along with watching it.

The next time someone asks for your favorite movie, don’t give them the answer you think you’re supposed to give.

Give them the real one.

If it’s “Phantom Thread,” fantastic. If it’s “On the Waterfront,” tell me why you love it. But if it’s “The Rock,” own it. If it’s “Austin Powers,” say it with pride.

If you’ve watched “National Treasure” 47 times and would gladly make it 48 tonight, I want to hear about that. Don’t be ashamed of watching Nick Cage steal the Declaration of Independence because I’ve also watched him do it dozens of times.

We can argue about the greatest movies ever made. Critics have been doing that almost as long as movies have existed. But favorites don’t need defending.

The best movie you’ve ever seen might be the one you admire most.

Your favorite is the one you can’t wait to watch again.