Community rallies around 7-year-old autistic boy after no classmates show up for his birthday party

IDAHO FALLS — Dozens of community members recently came together to celebrate a seven-year-old boy whose classmates didn’t show up to his birthday party.

Kayla Havens of Idaho Falls said her son Brennan, who is autistic, celebrated his seventh birthday on May 31. Kayla said her son doesn’t have friends outside of school, so she planned his birthday party around the last week of school so his classmates could come.

Havens mentioned that invitations were sent out, but when the time came for the party to start, no classmates were there.

“Brennan kept looking out the window and saying, ‘Mom, has anyone come yet?'” Kayla told EastIdahoNews.com. “I said, ‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart, they haven’t yet.’ … He looked like he was getting more depressed as time went on.”

About an hour after the party was scheduled to start, Kayla told her husband to take Brennan on a bike ride around their neighborhood.

“When they got back, my husband said with every single person they passed by, my son was practically begging them to come to his birthday party,” Kayla said.

Some of Kayla’s friends encouraged her to post on Facebook about what was happening. After seeing that Brennan was on the verge of tears, Kayla decided to take her friends’ advice.

“I could tell it was starting to hurt him,” she said. “He’s already struggling as it is with his social capabilities with his autism that I didn’t want this to make it worse.”

Kayla made a post on a local Facebook group where she explained the situation and asked if anyone would be willing to “come make my son’s day?”

“I just hoped some people would be willing to come by and say happy birthday to him. I thought five or 10 people at most,” Kayla said. “I did not expect the community to come around the way that they did for him.”

Kayla said Idaho Falls Police officers, Idaho Falls firefighters and Idaho Falls Animal Control officers showed up to celebrate his birthday. Motorcyclists and people who own sports cars stopped by and gave Brennan a ride and let him rev the engine. The Snake River Street Kings also made an appearance with their cars.

Countless people extended invitations to Brennan such as the owner of Sage Raceway, who offered for Brennan to go and watch a race for free that night. Brennan did, and Kayla said he was treated like a VIP while he was there. Smitty’s also gave him a free dinner for his birthday.

Mothers and children showed up at his home with gifts and balloons and stayed to sing “Happy Birthday” and have cake. People even DoorDashed presents and a big tray of cookies to Brennan.

“I just remember being so grateful that people were willing to show up for a stranger and to be there for my son … so he didn’t have to carry that around as a bad memory,” Kayla said through tears.

She added, “A lot of people who came by said they had the same thing happen to them for their birthday parties. To see some of the people be like, ‘We’ve been here,’ and how they didn’t want other people to be there, it made me so appreciative that they were willing to look out for others.”

Kayla said she knew there were a lot of parents with autistic children out there but she didn’t realize how many were specifically in Idaho Falls.

“Moms (messaged me on Facebook) that were going through a lot of the same struggles I was going through with my autistic son being able to have friends and support from other kids,” she said.

After reading those messages and seeing how the community stepped up for her son in a time of need, Kayla knew she wanted to somehow give back. She ended up creating a Facebook group called “Autism Parents of Idaho Falls.” Since it was started on June 1, there are 180 members in the group.

The overall goal of the group is to provide support to parents of autistic children and the children themselves. Kayla said it’s a place to share birthday invites, help their children make friends, offer advice and “any kind of support needed.”

To join the group, click here.