Christian singer performing for rescue mission benefit concert says speech impediment is a gift - East Idaho News
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Christian singer performing for rescue mission benefit concert says speech impediment is a gift

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Christian singer/songwriter Jason Gray will be the headline performer at a benefit concert in Idaho Falls on June 11. Listen to our conversation with him in the video player above. | Photo courtesy Wikipedia

IDAHO FALLS – Talking about uncomfortable things is something Jason Gray has grown accustomed to over the years.

The 49-year-old Christian singer/songwriter, who will be the headline performer at a benefit concert for the Idaho Falls Rescue Mission on June 11, has written hundreds of songs addressing personal struggle. Many of them stem from his own life experience. One song he wrote several years ago called “Death Without a Funeral” addresses his feelings about his recent divorce.

“I’d probably put that in the top three songs that I’m the proudest of,” Gray tells EastIdahoNews.com.

In a conversation with EastIdahoNews.com, Gray spoke candidly about another personal struggle he’s dealt with his entire life.

“My s-s-s-s-s-s-sss-tuttering is mysterious,” Gray says. “I’m not sure what causes it, but as far as I understand it, it’s genetic. I’m genetically predisposed to it. It lies in wait inside of you and is activated by a traumatic event.”

Gray developed a stuttering problem when he was 5 years old. He says it was tied to his parents’ divorce and an abusive relationship with his father.

Living with a speech impediment was difficult for Gray as a kid, but he has learned to cope with it over the years with the help of speech therapists and breathing techniques. It’s a challenge he’s got mostly under control now, but there are still a few words and sounds that trip him up occasionally.

“Has it gotten better over the years, or have I just learned how to mask it? I think it’s a combination of both,” he says. “You’ll notice sometimes I’ll be speaking, and I’ll take a breath before I finish the next (word). When I do that, I’m doing my b-b-breath monitoring. If I can tell I’m going to get hung up on a word, I’ll quickly find another word.”

Even with a speech impediment, Gray says he always knew he wanted to be a singer. He wasn’t quite sure how that would work, but he quickly realized that his weakness wasn’t a stumbling block to his success. Quite the opposite, in fact.

When he picked up a guitar and started to sing, suddenly it was much easier to communicate, and the messages inside his heart could finally be set free.

“When I sing, it automatically clears up, and the idea behind that is that when you sing, you automatically breathe properly. You’re (communicating) from a different part of your brain,” he says. “I could sing everything, but I think that would be more awkward than the actual speech handicap, so I just (embrace) the speech handicap.”

Embracing and accepting that weakness, however, is not something that happened naturally for Gray. For a long time, he was ashamed of it and didn’t feel he could become what he was supposed to be unless God intervened and removed it from his life.

“I argued with God, saying, ‘I can’t be your spokesperson until you mm-mm-mm-mm…uh…m-make it so I can speak.’ But then I thought, ‘I see how this is supposed to be. I’m supposed to go out and do this anyway, and when I do that, G-G-G-God’s gonna make it go away, and that’ll be my story.'”

But that’s not what happened. Several years later, he had an experience that changed his perspective.

Gray says he was stuttering like crazy in between performances at a concert. He could barely get two words out while speaking to the crowd, and he wanted to hide.

His attempt at disappearing after the concert was a failure. As he sat in a coffee shop, there was a line of people waiting to speak with him.

“I heard variations of the same story. I heard people say, ‘J-J-Jason. Thanks for what you did this evening. It reminded me that I’m not defined by my weakness,'” Gray recalls. “I remember going home that night and realizing it wasn’t the content of my concerts that spoke to people. What spoke to people was that I was a broken, imperfect person, and I got up there on stage, and I did it anyway.”

Today, Gray considers his weakness an incredible asset to his performing career because it allows him to reach people in a way that few people can.

“Maybe this thing I’ve always imagined is a liability is really a gift,” he says. “Maybe God doesn’t intend to heal me of my speech impediment, but maybe he intends to bring healing to others through it.”

If there’s only one song Jason Gray is remembered for, he hopes it’s this one. It’s his favorite, and he says it’s the defining message of his music.

LISTEN TO THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION WITH GRAY IN THE VIDEO PLAYER AT THE TOP.

Helping others find healing is what he hopes to accomplish on his latest tour. Earlier this year, he put out a call on social media for venues to perform in. There was a tremendous response, and among them was a message from the Idaho Falls Rescue Mission.

Idaho Falls concert

IFRM Community Relations Manager Olivia Stauffer says the nonprofit had been planning an event with Gray in 2019 but had to cancel at the onset of COVID-19. As staff were planning a fundraising event for this year, they contacted Gray, and he agreed to do a live benefit concert to culminate the mission’s weeklong Virtual Fundraising Gala.

Beginning Monday, June 7, videos from members of the community will be posted on the IFRM’s Facebook page. The person featured in each video will talk about experiences with the mission, its programs and the ways it benefits the community. Among those featured will be Idaho Falls Chamber CEO Chip Schwarze and local Pastor Todd Wood.

Stauffer says it takes about $800,000 a year to keep the IFRM operating, and the purpose of these videos is to encourage people to make a contribution.

“We’re asking for people’s financial support, but support isn’t always monetary,” Stauffer says. “We’re also in need of volunteers at the mission or to help with this event. Even just sharing the videos on social media that week will do a lot to help spread the word.”

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The concert will kick off on June 11 at 6 p.m. inside the Westbank Convention Center at 525 River Parkway. Accompanying Gray at the event will be Beckah Shae, another Christian singer/songwriter who will be performing for the crowd. Though it’s a ticketed event, Shae’s performance will be live-streamed on Facebook.

Only 18 tickets are left for the concert, which are $150 and cover admission for two people. The cost includes dinner catered by Dixie’s Diner, a meet-and-greet with the artists and raffle tickets for multiple prizes.

Stauffer is hoping to get sponsors for the event, and she’d like to raise between $15,000 and $20,000 throughout the week.

“At the bare minimum, we need $10,000 just to cover our costs (for the gala),” she says.

After a turbulent year, Gray says he’s excited to be on tour again and to be performing for a live audience in Idaho Falls. He promises a night of laughter and hope for those who attend.

“My desire is always to get to a real, authentic place of healing. I think healing can happen when we gather together and tune our hearts together. There are healing properties in music. I know I’ve certainly experienced that in my life, but you can only go as deep as you go high,” he says. “We’re gonna laugh, and we’re gonna have fun.”

If you’d like to get involved as a volunteer or a sponsor, email olivias@ifrescuemission.org. To buy tickets or learn more, click here.

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