REVIEW: “Pixels” Is A Master Class On How To Waste A Cool Premise

A wiser fellow than myself once said “Ideas are few and far between and good ideas are rarer still.” Actually, he sang that. However he chose to articulate it, the point is this: if you have a good idea, you’ve got to make good on it.

“Pixels” sprouts from a terrific idea, but it crashes and burns soon after. If anything, this film provides a sterling example of how to waste a great idea.

The awesome premise “Pixels” starts with is this: Earth falls under attack from aliens using avatars that look exactly like characters from vintage video games. To combat this scourge, President Will Cooper (Kevin James, who’d be a much better president than Donald Trump) recruits childhood friend Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler), a video game wiz with a gift for pattern recognition.

Assisting Sam in his quest to kick alien booty is conspiracy nut Ludlow (Josh Gadd), egotistical jerk/convict Eddie “Fireblaster” Plant (Peter Dinklage), and Violet (Michelle Monaghan), an attractive military officer. Together, they battle classic video game favorites like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong in an effort to save the planet.

That premise holds potential for a terrifically fun movie, but “Pixels” drops the ball. The biggest problem is that the characters are so bland and uninteresting, watching them is like watching water evaporate.

Sandler used to be pretty funny, but here he is only slightly more amusing than a root canal. Gadd gets a few chuckles but doesn’t fare much better. Monaghan feels like a shoehorned-in love interest from another movie, and “Pixels” completely wastes the great Brian Cox in a role that’s all one blustering note.

There are only two good reasons to watch “Pixels”. First, Dinklage gets quite a few laughs as “Fireblaster”. He plays his role several miles over the top and appears to be the one person on set who’s actually having fun. Heck, even his mullet gets a couple of well-deserved snickers.

The other reason to see “Pixels” is the imaginative action scenes. Our heroes blast giant centipedes and the like, which burst into colorful blocks of light when hit. Director Chris Columbus, the guy responsible for “Home Alone” and the first two “Harry Potter” flicks, is clearly slumming it here, but he still gives us several entertaining, visually exciting battle scenes that pack a fun punch.

Trouble is, “Pixels” has nothing to offer in between the battle scenes except boring characters and a love story between Sam and Violet, two characters who share no connection whatsoever. “Pixels” is a comedy that forgets to be funny, settling for mildly amusing instead. And with such a great premise to get behind, it feels like an even bigger failure than it would’ve if it were just your average big-budget summer blockbuster.

”Pixels” has a few good elements, but there isn’t nearly enough of those elements present in the movie to make it worth your time, effort and money. If you have to take the family out to see a fun movie, take them to see “Minions”. “Pixels” just doesn’t deliver the fun it promises.

2 Indy Fedoras out of 5

MPAA Rating: PG-13