Patten: Give your undead computer new life
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Today I’m writing about the undead in your closet.
These “I’m-not-dead-yet” things are your old computers. They still boot, but you can’t do what you want them to do anymore. Like zombies, they have functional form but little substance. They shuffle along slowly, apparently without enough brains to be useful.
But you can make them live. You can make them productive again.
(Caveat: I’m talking about desktops and laptops from the current millennium, give or take. I’ll be covering computers of a more, um, vintage variety in future posts.)
So why aren’t you using that old PC anymore?
Chances are, your answer touches on one or more of the following.
Limited storage
Your cheap smartphone might have more space available than your old laptop.
Issues with graphics
The images are choppy when you try to play a game or video, and the dimensions of the screen feel too constraining.
Outdated operating system
Applications refuse to work with your old OS or give you shaming warning messages about how you need to upgrade – even if you can’t or it’s not worth it financially to do so.
You can overcome a lot of these issues – but why would you want to? Why not shell out a few hundred bucks (in some cases, even less) for a decent modern computer?
Restoring old metal certainly isn’t for everyone. Here are reasons I have had in the past to raise the undead.
Limited RAM
Everything. Runs. So. Slowly. What can you do with a single gigabyte of memory anyway?
Undead Computer Month
For October, Creative Tech is about raising your seemingly lifeless computers.
It’s alive! Awaken your ancient computer with new parts – Make your old PC a little more powerful without breaking it — or your wallet
Exorcise Windows from your old computer – Chances are, your outdated version of Windows won’t cut it, but there are free options out there.
Treat your formerly undead computer – You have updated your hardware and operating system … but what software can you actually use on your ancient machine?
Not being able or willing to spend money
I have been in situations where I have to question every purchase — even the shiny things. If you only need to check email, do some light web browsing and word processing, how much RAM do you actually need? Could it be that you’re buying features on new PCs — even the cheap ones — that you don’t use? And why pay $200 for a Chromebook when you already have a comparable machine?
Sticking it to the man
Corporations commanded me to upgrade and threatened me with security holes and non-functioning programs if I didn’t. Who are Microsoft or Google to tell me what I need?
Hefty design
When it comes to portable devices, I don’t understand the modern obsession with thin. I prefer solid. I like it when I don’t drop things.
Nostalgia
Yes, you can relive a lot of your former computing days through emulators (even through your browser), but having the clickedly-clack of an ancient keyboard as you blast killer robots to unholy pixels is an experience to be cherished.
The thrill of knowing
The newer a computer is, the thicker is the curtain between you and the wizard. You don’t need to know as much about the inner workings of a 2016 computer (supposedly), which can be convenient, but it’s sad. Here you are, the owner of arguably the most exciting invention in millennia, and you can’t even lift the lid and take a quick peek! (Sometimes, that’s literal — you can’t take the thing apart without special tools or training. Looking at you, Apple.)
Of course, it’s fine, useful and in many cases essential to own a computer made in the last few years! I use my Macbook Pro daily.
But if you feel you’re missing out on something or if you can’t bring yourself to throw away the digital “junk” but want to justify its existence in your home, keep up with Creative Tech during the next few weeks. I’ll go into depth on how to extend the life of your old computer – both with hardware and software.
Don’t expect to be suddenly able to play 2016’s AAA games on your old hardware — we’ll be going over tricks and workarounds, not miracles. But my hope is to get you started on a journey that will result in you actually being an owner of your devices — old and new — and not just a user.
And it won’t take a lot of brains!