How do people manage and prioritize more adult responsibilities like investing, marriage, having kids and everything else?

Dear Dave,

I’m 22, working my way through college and I’ve already been able to start setting money for life after graduation. I had a talk with my parents recently about my plans once I get a real job and get out on my own. They seem to think I’ll be okay, but sometimes things can seem so overwhelming. How do people manage and prioritize more adult responsibilities like investing, marriage, having kids and everything else?

Kieran

Dear Kieran,

You’re right, it can be overwhelming if you look at all these things as if they have to be done right now. But I’ll tell you something you already know: You don’t have to do everything right now. It’s great to look toward the future, and have a plan, but you’re only 22. You’ve got plenty of time to decide what’s important to you. For now, let’s just say you’ve done a great job so far. Take a deep breath and relax. You’re way ahead of the game compared to most young people your age, and you should be proud of your accomplishments.

Now, all the things you mentioned are great goals. Some of them are kind of intimidating, but those aren’t what you’re facing right now. In my mind, finishing college is your number one priority. Then, after you graduate and begin life on your own, you can begin looking at the other things you mentioned—one at a time. Once you find a good job, you can begin setting aside for retirement. If your car is about to roll over and die, that first step may be a better vehicle. If there’s a special lady in your life, you might begin focusing on marriage somewhere down the road.

Don’t be too intimidated, Kieran. Things are often easier to deal with when you break them down into smaller pieces and address them individually. There’s a funny old adage that goes something like this: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Do you get what I’m saying? Nobody can do four or five big things at once and do them all to the very best of their abilities. Decide what matters most, put it at the top, and list everything else in descending order of importance. Once you’ve done this, go down the list, focus and knock them out one after the other.

You’re a smart and determined young man, who has accomplished a lot already. Something tells me you can do just about anything you set your mind to!

— Dave